Learning as You Go

I've been re-reading a lot of my older blogs now that I'm pregnant again. There is one topic that comes up again and again, especially in 2007. I was obviously adjusting to my role as a stay at home mom because I wrote about it frequently.

SAHM definitely comes with its ups and downs and just when I think I'm adjusting well something will trip me up. But that's the same with any job, right? Overall I love working in the home and I think I'd be even better at it if I was in a position to donate 100% of my time to it (as opposed to working about 12 hours a week on the computer for two employers). I heard someone over the holidays mention a family member who had an infant and was having a difficult time adjusting to staying home. The women all agreed the best thing for her to do would be to go back into the workplace. And that might be the best thing for her. But in an effort to keep anyone from giving up too soon, let me (humbly :) share what I've learned...

1. Set a routine. Not necessarily a schedule where you run by the clock, but a more loose routine where you and baby know what's coming next that will help you get things done.

2. Once you've set the routine, follow it at random. And by that I mean don't ever stress about following it. Just like in an office setting your job duties will change even though your job description doesn't. Sometimes I focus on cleaning and let cooking fall to the wayside. Which is fine-- I know hamburger helper won't be the end of the world, and soon enough I'll be back in a cooking mood. Sometimes my small marketing job demands more of my time and Micah doesn't get as much individual attention from me. That's also fine. Kids learn from unstructured play, too. I never want him to be the kind of kid who needs constant entertainment or else he gets bored.

3. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. Someone told me when I first started staying at home that I should get out of the house at least once a day. This was NOT a good idea for me. What happens when I leave the house is I spend money. Starbucks, unneccessary car washes, groceries when the pantry is full, another cute t-shirt for Micah. B-A-D! But, I do recommend taking one full weekday at least every 6 weeks or so to escape and go somewhere other than your home. When you work at home, you feel like you're constantly at work. There's no break when you look around and see things on your to-do list staring you in the face. Even weekend days at home can just remind you of your chores. I get away and go to a friend's, the mall, or just sit at my mom's Quiznos so that I am away from "work" and get a break.

4. Do something to use your brain. Not that child-rearing doesn't use any brain cells. Oh, it does! But, do something to stretch yourself. I like Bible studies because they make me think and bring me closer in my walk with Christ. I've even figured out how to clean while doing my brain-enriching, Bible studying. Pick a few preachers/ministers/teachers you like and visit their sites to hear regular sermons online. I set my laptop on the bar in the kitchen and listen while I clean. My favorites are Beth Moore, John Piper, Max Lucado, and James Dobson. Once the cleaning is done I'm inspired to look up scriptures I heard in the sermon or dig deeper in the Bible during my own quiet time.

5. Have a good husband. Ok, so this is a given, but it's so important. We're lucky enough in our house to have Terry at home with us on Fridays (and for the better part of a year he was home alone with Micah on Fridays) so he knows it's not as easy as soap operas and bon-bons when you're staying home with the kids. He knows I need adult interaction and a child-break when he comes home. He's tired too, but he obliges and then we both relax once the lovebug is in bed.

6. My dirty little secret-- somedays I don't do anything. Now, I've still got a toddler runnin' 'round and there are some things that absolutely HAVE to be done everyday. Bathing my child, sweeping the floor, wiping down Micah's table and chairs after every meal, snack, craft. And if a day goes by without at least one load of laundry, I'm in trouble. But other than that, sometimes I do nothing! Today was one of those days. I'm hooked on a book that I didn't get to finish over the holidays so I've spent the majority of my day sitting on a chair and devouring A Voice In The Wind. Before Terry gets home I will help Micah pick up his toys, and dinner is on the stove right now, so I'll still go to bed with a presentable house. And I won't feel a bit guilty for taking a break! (Still didn't finish the book, but I whole-heartedly recommend it!)

Any other SAHMs willing to confess an occasional do-nothing day?