If It's Poop You Want, It's Poop You Get

I got more comments on my poo-poo blog than I even did on Caleb's birth post. It's so funny the things you write about when you're elbow deep in the baby/toddler years. I recently went back and read Caleb's birth story and I was a bit embarrassed at how many details I shared. I guess when you're pregnant you are surrounded by certain terms and phrases so much that you stop thinking of how they might be TMI to share in a blog! And on that note, here's the latest scoop on the poop...

When it comes to potty training, Terry and I just might be as laid-back as you can get. We had Micah's Potty Party to introduce him to the idea of the potty. We pushed him really hard to just use it once. And when he successfully went #1 we hopped around like fools and hoorahed and hoorayed and let him call every family member we have to share the news.

Once he knew what the idea was, we backed off. We encouraged him to use his little potty, but didn't push. I slowly switched to pull-ups, and then underwear. We let him take the lead and figure it out on his own time.

We've had the #1 thing down for months and months now. #2 was a totally different ballgame. Not only did Micah refuse to even TRY to do it on the potty, but he trained his body to schedule poops for nap and night times, conveniently enough, because he was still wearing a pull-up at those times. Which made Terry and I even less motivated to get him completely potty-trained.

About 3 weeks ago though, I was changing a dirty diaper and thought, "Enough!" I decided it was time to buckle down.

And then came the bribes.

Now let's not get into semantics here. To me, what all those parenting books call, "rewards" is just a fancy term for bribes. Agree with me or not, this was our preferred method once Terry and I both got to the end of our rope with poopy pants.

So we offered M&Ms. He wasn't impressed with that offer and we got no results. We upped the anty and offered Terry's favorite treat- a honeybun!

He still wouldn't even try the potty.

I decided it was time to pull out the big guns and I offered him... A TRIP TO CHUCK E. CHEESE!

This at least got him to sit and pretend to try. But still no results.

One night, just before bed, I saw him in a familiar squatting position and I knew what he was up to. I scooped him up and plopped him on the potty. I then made a threat I will never make again. (Never make a bluff that you can't follow through on, right moms and dads?) I said, "You will sit on this potty until you poop."

Such a stupid move, seeing as how it was already his bed time and I really had no plans to sit up with him round the clock. But, it seems my common sense had lapsed and I had forgotten for a moment that my two year old does not have the ability to reason, and has never responded to a threat.

This night ended up after 11 p.m. when Terry and I were way more exhausted than a stubborn Micah, and there was still no poop.

Then one day, I am taking a bath and talking on the phone (yes, I am truly multi-talented) when Micah comes strolling in, pant-less, and says, "I poo-pooed in the potty."

Now, my first thought was, "Mmhmm, sure you did." But, nonetheless, I grabbed my bathrobe and dripped water across the house to Micah's bathroom.

And sure enough- SUCCESS! I immediately went into cheerleader-mode and jumped around like a fool. I said, "You know what? I am SO proud of you! Why don't we get dressed and go to Target where you can pick out your very own toy!"

And do you know what that stinker said? My first-born, the boy who can't remember to stop walking before he hits the wall, managed to remember every bribe, er... reward that he'd been offered in the last weeks. He said, "...Aaaand M&Ms! ....Aaand honeybun! ...Aaaand Chuck E. Cheeses!"

And I didn't hesitate one bit. I'd promised him treats; I would deliver. I called Terry and he arranged to leave work early (oh, yes he did! This was indeed reason to celebrate!) and meet us at Target to kick off the night of Potty Festivities!

I have to admit, Terry and I were both excited about this shopping trip to Target. Micah is the first grandchild on both sides, and because of this, he is not lacking for toys. Or for plastic doo-dads from fast-food joints. Or for books. Or for random things like old keys and key chains, shredded dollar bills in a plastic case, or colorful pieces of mail that catch his eye (all of these are things Micah has been fiercely attached to at some point). What I'm trying to say is, except for birthdays and Christmas, we don't buy our kids toys. Considering the dozens of boxes full of toys in the attic, there's just no need for surplus shopping.

So needless to say, we were excited to see which toy he'd choose out of all the toy aisles. I assumed he'd pick up the first thing he saw and be done with it. But I was wrong, he slooowly meandered up and down every aisle and fingered every toy, pushed every button, flipped over every box before he narrowed it down to two things: a small robotic dinosaur that bites your finger, or a drum set that also came with a harmonica, tamborine, and flute.

We figured he'd bore of the dinosaur quickly and were very happy when he picked the drum set.

From there we were off to Chuck E. Cheese's where he played so hard that he forgot all about the M&Ms and honeybun once we were home.

And that is how our potty story ends. A little poop, a loud drum, and a giant mouse. Things every potty training expert touches on, right? Here's our proud, potty-trained boy showing off his loot!