Losing Your Mind (Continued)

...Have returned home from night with friends. Met some new people. Ate some great food and had so many belly-shaking laughs.

Was unencumbered by baby supplies. Didn't need to think of any other human being's need to potty, need to eat, or need for attention.

DID manage to get a Starbucks afterall (who am I kidding that I won't make that a priority?).

In general, had lots of fun.

Came home.

Immediately realized how deeply I'd missed my kiddoes. Tiptoed into Micah's room for a quick kiss. When he opened his eyes I wished for just one moment that he'd wake and we could snuggle together and read a book.

I let him sleep of course.

Picked up my sleeping infant and squeezed with all my might. Smelled his head. Kissed his eyelids. Smothered him with love and said to husband, "Oh how I miss them when I'm gone!"

Who am I kidding when I grimace about messy houses, discipline, dirty diapers? Why do things seem to make more sense when it's late and I can't sleep and I'm weary and a bit loopy from exhuastion? How did I live and breathe before Micah and Caleb came about? How did I get through the day without the ache of loving them so much?

Thank you God for these moments. Thank you God for a caring husband, funny friends, warm house. Thank you God for my sons, and especially for yours.