Contradictory Christmas

So far this Christmas has been one of my most fun ever and one of the worst ever.

THE GOOD:

Micah is finally old enough to really get all of the traditions. He knows who Santa is, he can sing several carols. He made a calendar and he crosses the days off as he counts down to Christmas.

He says he absolutely, positively, MUST have the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse from Santa Clause. And he decided this AFTER we'd spent all the money we'd set aside for his Christmas gifts. (Of course.)

Last weekend we had Christmas with Granna and she gave Micah Lincoln Logs (which he is totally loving!) and Caleb a puppy that sings. (the same thing "Santa" was planning on giving Caleb. = ) After we exchanged gifts we all went to the Rainforest Cafe for dinner. Then Granna drove back to her side of town and our little family headed to Richmond to continue some tradtitions from my own childhood.

We drove through Pecan Grove to see all the hugely decorated homes. We found the Richardson's house and Micah and Terry climbed out of the car to walk around and see all they had this year (the house from "Up" complete with 40 or so Mylar balloons, the screen where your image pops up and says if your naughty or nice, etc).

We also went to the Richmond State School. It's a school for mentally and physically challenged students and for years and years they've been making Christmas decorations and decorating their campus with popular characters from cartoons and storybooks. The students work on most of the projects themselves, so the decor is nothing akin to, say, Santa's Wonderland. But Micah was enthralled the whole time we drove through it. When we left he said, "That was fun! I love that!" And so the tradition will continue...

And of course we've been having fun with this being Caleb's first Christmas ever. He's got pjs, socks, onesies, and hats all exclaiming his first holiday. As tactile as this kid is, he'll have the time of his (short) life ripping the wrapping paper off his gifts!

THE BAD:

Like a lot of people, our finances took a hit this year. Our family expanded at the same time that my income dropped about $8,000. So maybe that's what first started the grouchies. Our Christmas budget was tight and so everytime we got a new invite to a party that included baking or gift buying, I felt a bit low. It's hard when everyone wants to exchange gifts, needs help with the food, and expects you to bring gifts for your children, too.

We actually had to start turning down requests to parties because of the finances. Well...partly because of our finances and partly because I have been frustrated this season by the materialism and backwardness of this holiday that is supposed to be about something altogether different.

Don't get me wrong, I made wish-lists and passed them on to family who requested them. I had a lot of fun shopping for my boys and I will love the looks on their faces when they open the gifts that I put so much thought into (Being the parent of a young child at christmas might just be more fun than being a young child at Christmas!). But what's with all the busyness? Why do we have to fill every available weekend day and night (and many nights during the week, too) with activities?

In order to make time for family and relaxing, watching Christmas movies and drinking hot chocoloate, we had to cut out a lot of things we usually do. Things like hanging lights on the house or sending out Christmas cards. It's got me thinking... Is it part of the enemies plan to keep us busy during this time of year instead of taking time to focus on the real reason for the season?

A friend called me last week to say she was going to visit some strip clubs with some women from church. They were handing out bags with Christian literature and inviting the dancers to church. I thought- "There's no better time to reach people than Christmas." And then I thought about what I've done to reach anyone this month. Nothing. I've been too busy partying and shopping.

Two people in my life have been impacted by people they know attempting to commit suicide this month. People are hurting and lonely and I'm over here feeling sorry for myself that we don't have more money for gifts this year. Isn't it all a bit backwards?

I wish we could rewind and re-do the season. I wish I'd focused more on giving my time and effort and less on superficial giving. I wish we'd planned some charity work.

So, it may sound bah-hum-bug of me, but instead of festivities, all I can think of is Jesus being born into a humble family, surrounded by animals. Can you imagine how badly people must have been looking down on Joseph and Mary to not even allow a woman in labor to have a room indoors to deliver in? I don't know of any person today who would allow a woman in labor to deliver in the hay amongst dirt and animal feces. The first Christmas wasn't about fancy decorations, giving or getting. It was about family. It was about one family in particular who was chosen to suffer, become outcasts, to play their part in the Christmas story. They had to give up everything in order to obey God and become parents to the one who would save us all.

I know gift-giving, cookie-baking, party-going is all a part of our culture and I could never give it up. Afterall, I enjoy it! But I wish there were a way to scale back and re-focus. I don't want to be so consumed with toys and traditions for the kids that we don't take the time to do more. To really look like Christians during the Christmas season. We didn't look like Christians this year. We looked like everyone else. Just people consumed with what they could give themselves and their kids.

This year was a wake up call for me. Next year I hope Terry and I can do a better job of keeping "Christ" in Christmas.