Valentine's Day

I got a wonderful letter from Terry yesterday. For a man of such little words, he's written me a fair amount of love letters. There are a few that stick out in my mind and I think the one I got yesterday will join that group.

The first one he ever wrote me is priceless. We'd had feelings for each other for a while, but had been holding off on actually beginning a relationship until we'd prayed about it and felt like it was what God wanted. This first letter is all about him telling me that he was ready...he knew God blessed our relationship. It's also a funny letter. He assures me in it that I don't actually look like a "lumberjack's housewife" like I'd told him I did the night before.

Then there's a poem he wrote that is so dripping with sentiment and cheese that it will always be on my list of favorites. And of course, the letter he gave me on our wedding day is dear to me. He signed it, "See ya for the rest of my life, Terry."
There is one sentence in the letter I got yesterday that so perfectly summed up our last few months together, that it feels too personal to share with you right now.

In truth, our marriage looks very different this year than it ever has in the past. Don't ever let anyone say having children won't affect your marriage. We've had more fights this year than we had combined in our first 6 years together. We've been tired, mentally and physically, and we can't be first on each others list's anymore. Sometimes we don't even really ever see each other until we crawl into bed. In all honesty, most nights when Terry comes home we just begin a mad dash to get Micah ready for bed and asleep so that we can catch our breath and be together.

But, I'm positive neither of us would say we're unhappy. In fact, we'd probably say that we're happier than we've ever been. It's just that our viewpoint's have shifted a bit, and we're focused in a different direction. It makes the times we do get to focus on each other so much more special.

When I was pregnant, sometimes I worried that once Micah was born, I'd shift all of my love to him and, as a result, there wouldn't be much love left over for Terry. But, instead, what happened was I began to love Micah as his mom, and this new different kind of love made me see that my relationship with Terry is more than just a marriage. I love Micah and I know that someday he'll leave our home and find his own friends and maybe even a wife to love. My goal with him is to give him a good foundation to walk on and to teach him about Jesus. But, it's so very different with Terry.

Terry and I are on the same path. When Micah leaves to make his own life, there we'll be-- me and Terry. When we lose jobs, lose loved ones, or struggle with sickness, there we'll be--me and Terry. We are partners in the truest and most honest sense of the word. When we made our vows to each other, we meant them.

Without Terry I'd be lost.

Here's the magical part. Our marriage is a gift from God. He chose us for one another. He supplied us with life experiences before we ever knew each other that would prove to be building blocks for our relationship. He loved us enough to craft a partner for us. And no matter how tired we are, or how much of our lives these days center around diaper changes, we choose to see our relationship as a constant reminder of God's love and His blessings on us. Without sounding preachy, I just want to encourage you to see the good things in your life as God's gifts and his communication with you. As Christians, we don't lead accidental lives. The Bible says God wants to give his children gifts. I choose to see every good thing in my life as a love letter from God. My family, my friends, my freedom, my cushy bed, my capable car, my diamond ring. Lovely things, tangible and intangible...just the evidence of God's love for me.