Pressure

There have been people who've been worse parents than Terry and I and have still produced competent and happy children. But that doesn't help with the insane amount of pressure that comes with being a parent.

I knew being a mom would be a challenge. That's 50% of why I was so eager to do it. But, I still wasn't prepared for the (probably lifelong) guilt associated with it. As decision maker for Micah, things can be rough.

When the pediatrician first told me to start giving Micah table food, I wasn't thrilled. I didn't want to make the change from all natural foods to the highly processed, highly sweetened foods that abound in every grocery store aisle. That's why most of Micah's meals are the specially packaged toddler foods that are held to higher standards than the FDA holds foods generally eaten by adults. It's quite a challenge to find foods low in sodium and that don't list some form of sugar in the first 4 ingredients. However, now is the time to get him used to liking a variety of foods, so from time to time I allow him something like guacamole (which, sodium aside, is a great food for kiddos) or even ice cream (my grandmother loved being the first one to feed him ice cream so much that she went all out with a banana split complete with chocolate syrup!).

Another constant source of pressure is the whole sibling debate. So many people have such strong opinions one way or the other- "Have your kids close together so they will be friends and able to entertain each other and share toys." Or "Give yourself time to adjust between babies. And spoil your first child by letting him be an only child for a while." Who knows which is right...and I guess that's just it...neither is right and they're both right. But, which will work for us? If we want to have children close together that means the time is nearly upon us! But, with Terry looking for a new job and us not even knowing where we'll be living in 6 months, now is probably not the time. Probably, anyway. But then we feel guilty because Micah doesn't have any cousins and so if he wants a lifetime buddy, it seems we're going to have to be the ones to provide one.

There's another pressure that I've totally created on my own. Pictures. I set a precedent in the beginning by marking every occasion, big and small, with 12 coordinating pictures. But, man did the pressure get to me after a while! I was always reaching for the camera, not necessarily able to enjoy the moment until it was successfully captured on film. The last two-three months of Micah's first year will be significantly lacking in photos compared to the first months. I feel so guilty that I didn't get a picture of Micah walking until 3 or 4 days after he first started doing it. And don't even mention capturing it on video!!

And, boy, oh boy, talk about pressure! Saving for college is quite a doozy! This month's Parents magazine says babies born in the last 3 years will need a minimum of $140,000 for college. That means, according to them, that we should be saving at least $450 a month. Ha!

Obviously these aren't issues that are keeping me up at night or anything. They're just issues that crop up every now and again. Some of our decisions will be huge and could completely alter life for Micah. Others won't matter much, I guess. Parents of older children are probably laughing their heads off at my simple worries compared to what's down the line! You're laughing, aren't you?!