Raising a Son

For Christmas, Dad gave us a book by Dr. James Dobson about raising sons. I was so happy to get it, because there are some serious questions in my mind on the subject.

I took a class in college called Sociology of Gender. The professor was extremely liberal, and at the time, her persuasiveness and enthusiasm won me over in many ways. Most classes consisted only of heated debates about the differences between men and women. Her point was that gender is a culturally assigned description- not a biological one. She argued that our only difference is our sex organs. I even remember her saying you should dress your boys in pink, and buy your girls toy guns (Yes guns, she was a liberal- but this was still East Texas, people!). That only when parents were brave enough to buck the gender roles of society would our world evolve into what it should be.

Man, is that a crazy way of thinking, or what? Since I've been away from the class, I've come to see things differently. Studies show over and over again that men and women are just plain different. Men are more aggressive, more physical, and less 'in their heads.' And with Dr. Dobson's help, I'm able to see those strong adjectives as positives.

There seems to be a special art to raising a son- especially in today's world. There is a reason God gave men and boys the tendencies he gave them. There is a reason they are more aggressive. Dobson tells a story of how a little girl perched on the edge of a roof says she won't jump off because, "What if I get hurt?" A little boy in the same position says, "Well, I might not get hurt." And he jumps.

My problem is that I understand that little boys will want to do things like that, and Dr. Dobson explains why they NEED to do things like that, but I'm already confronted with the mother in me who feels like shouting, Get away from the ledge! Stop wrestling! and Not in the house!

I want to raise a "manly" man, a confident, self-assured, independent boy. But, can't you be all those things and still be well-behaved and never experience a trip to the emergency room??

My husband, proud owner of at least 4 body parts with stitches, and many tales of jumping out of the top story of his childhood barn, says no.

Well, we'll see how it goes. In the meantime, if you see my son preparing to jump off a roof or out of a barn, you have my permission to drag him down by his ear!